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A Depressed Woman Who Wanted To Marry A Pastor Ended Up With This

I had a burning desire to wed a pastor, but instead I married a womanizer who was posing as a pastor. A depressed woman shares her ordeal

I was desperate to marry a pastor, but instead I married a womanizer who claimed to be one, a depressed woman says.
A depressed woman tells the tale of how a man who was interested in her posed as a preacher in order to marry her.

A depressed woman recounts her experience of purposefully marrying a pastor without knowing he was a chronic womanizer.

Her story goes:

Although I don’t want to reveal who I am, I believe that many women will take note of my error.

My family was devout Christians with high standards of living with which they raised me. I made the decision to marry a pastor no matter what since my dad was a pastor and I saw that he was a good man who loved God. He also wouldn’t hit or yell at my mother.


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When I was old enough to get married, I turned down a lot of suitors because they were just members, not pastors. However, there was this one guy that I really loved, and he was a good Christian, but I had to break up with him because there was no way I could ever see him becoming a pastor.

Then my greatest error in life occurred. I went to a convention in Lagos where I met this young man, and he came up to me and said he liked me. He was wearing a suit like a pastor, so I asked him if he was a pastor. After a little period of stammering, he responded, “Oh that, yes, I am a pastor.” He sent me images of himself speaking into a microphone when I told him I didn’t believe him (I would have like a video, not just a picture). I was unable to verify his claims because he was stationed outside of Lagos.

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I threw myself at him, giving it all to him. He used to bring me scripture and motivational quotes to read every day so I just concluded within me that I have found my gold.

After a few months of dating, he would occasionally travel to Lagos to see me and we’ll pray before we went out to dinner, so I concluded again, that he was a pastor and a man of God, so I immediately answered yes when he proposed. After our marriage, I moved to Asaba with him, and on our first Sunday there, I saw he didn’t go to the altar; instead, we sat in the congregation, which made me suspicious. He promised to clarify after the service.

That day, he informed me that he had been placed on a three-month leave of absence due to his impending marriage. Since I was still new to the church, I was unable to see anything or speak to anyone about it.

After six months, my husband was neither preaching nor heading to the altar. Instead, I began to notice messages from women that he would erase from WhatsApp (which would show up as “deleted”). Occasionally, he would even erase images (perhaps they had sent him nude photos). Since I was uneasy, I pleaded with him to be honest with me. I was having problems one mid-night. That evening, he grinned and said he had been trying to figure out how to tell me that, although he is not a pastor, he is a good Christian, and that he hopes to be one in the future.

That night, I sobbed like a baby and grabbed his shirt. I enquired more about the conversations he erased and the images that would never show up again. He wasn’t talking, so I knelt down, begged, and said I wouldn’t cause any issue. After that, he confided in me, admitting that he has a weakness for girls and finds it difficult to control himself around them. That’s when I realized my life was over.

The following morning, I felt like killing myself, but my mother had a lightbulb moment and called to warn me to let go and let God have his way.

This is a warning to all of you to learn a lot about a man before you start hurrying to marry him. Look at me—I would have even taken my choir leader’s offer if I hadn’t thought he wasn’t a pastor. I’m fasting right now and praying that my husband’s womanizing spirit would go away.

What have you learned from this story and what is your advice to this woman?

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